ase | The No Good Horrible VERY BAD Friday

I was all set to argue myself out of an Aliph Jawbone 2 (Pros:
AWESOME; Cons: it costs as much as the phone I'm pairing it with, you
tool), but I lost my mp3 player today. Replacing my beloved Sansa Clip
trumps bluetooth headset.

Day Three of Understaffed Work-Related Insanity started today at 7:30 AM.

I have been sick for a week and a half.

When I get off my paid job, I go to Capclave, when what I really want
is a long bike ride, a hot shower and a stack of DVDs *this* *high*.
Starting with Moulin Rouge and going down

Thursday night was a series of subtle failures to triumph over my
fundamental desire for 12 hours of sleep and a functional lactase
gene.

I started this at 3 PM, during my "lunch", and now it's six and I'm
finally done at work and I have missed the Friday gripe window. Now
someone's going to try and give me internet hugs, and I will try to
reach back through the fiber-optic cable to smack them, because I feel
in my heart and soul that internet hugs are a prime example of the
false intimacy of the internet.

Will this week just end already, please. Please.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I usually say that I wish I was there so I could be potentially of some use, but i'm not so there goes that one.

All I really can say is to affirm that when life is ass, you get ass squared the next week. Not that it's a comfort, mind you. (I'm going through something that is similar to but not quite your problem, and I have no idea what to do with it either.)

In my case, I luck out: next week, everyone comes back from vacation. Work is saved from me renaming the DNA extraction machines after vampires (Angel, Lestat, etc; my most favorite sparkliest machine will be named Edward Cullen) and trying to get my replacement mp3 player reimbursed from my HSA as a mental health expense. I hope your work issues resolve themselves as easily!

I am also doing my level best to blow off large parts of Capclave (http://www.capclave.org/capclave0/) in favor of sleeping 10 hours at a time. Whoops!

no internet hugs from here. I'll just stick my tongue out instead. :-P

hope the weekend has treated you okay

Tongue action is okay. :-) Internet hugs give me the same feeling as random people walking up to me on the street with attack hugs. This only works for the Dave Matthews Band (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMBgSfQI49E).

The weekend was much better than the week. Whew.

Well, I'll try my best not to hug you over the internet then. ;-p

But please forgive me if I forget, since that is often a natural response of mine. I'm a huggy person and tend to find it a comfortable shorthand for sympathy. Whether I'd actually hug the person on the other end is a matter for question. Usually, yes, but since I haven't met a lot of them, you never know! If you can, do please assume I meant a more suitable expression of sympathy/empathy/consideration. ;-p

I'm glad the week was better!

You get a pass because that's what you would do, and we've interacted online enough that I know you would. :-) It's the occasions when people pop up out of lurkerdom that drive me to distraction.

Ha! Cool! You shouldn't have said that because now I will hug you unmercifully! ;-p

Good to know though, I wouldn't have wanted to make you uncomfortable.

Did you see Sean? Isn't he adorable? (the youtube vid I put up of him)

Ugh. I'm sorry about that-- I was sick several weeks ago with something that sounds fairly similar (too sick to work at all well; not sick enough to really feel good about taking time off), so I empathize. Though that's not particularly helpful. Except that I did eventually get better :)

Oh, I'm glad to hear that about the internet hugs. I do them (I may even have given you one before, for which I apologize) because I feel it's expected of me, but, yeah, it's kind of weird, and I always feel horribly self-conscious (actually, much like I do when getting or receiving hugs from people I'm not really good friends with -- a side effect of about half of the cultures I'm part of (e.g., physics/engineering) being really not into tactile contact, and the other half really being into them).

Though that's not particularly helpful. Except that I did eventually get better :)

Yay! I am glad you aren't sick anymore.

a side effect of about half of the cultures I'm part of (e.g., physics/engineering) being really not into tactile contact

I'm trying not to fall over laughing, because - no, really? Hard science people don't intrinsically overlap much with the physical contact crowd? *Falls over laughing* It's a stereotype, maybe, but it's established itself for a reason. (Then there is

tygerr, breaking all assumptions. But I digress!)

Basically, people I would hug in real life get internet hugs, but it's a variable context-dependent list. Constructive suggestions are a lot more comforting than internet hugs when I'm stressing out and dreaming of tropical islands utterly devoid of humanity. One-liner *hugs* comments feel less like support and more like a requirement to conform to other people's socialization. Does that make any sense? It's an act of intellect to translate internet hugs into emotional support, rather than the visceral response I think was intended. I appreciate the gesture of support, but I have to think myself into it. Unless it's someone I'd expect that sort of tactile reaction from IRL, in which case it really does feel like support.

In short: I am not a huggy person, except when I am. But usually not.

Last word -

I always feel horribly self-conscious

- oh yeah. If only I had a webcam to capture my facial contortions as I try to balance sympathy with not being too intrusive by my standards.

Ha, yes! This makes me think of an amusing story: Back when I was a physics grad student (and if engineers are bad with physical contact, physicists are much worse!) I went to a conference, and there was a woman there that I took an immediate and deeply visceral dislike to. Now, this is really weird for me, because I tend to like people in general unless they're mean to me, and she was a quite nice woman, who furthermore was making a transition from the humanities to physics, which I totally respect. Well, it took me a couple of days, and then I figured out it was because she was always touching people, which my subconscious brain interpreted as "totally unacceptable touchy-feely promiscuous flirtation oooaaagh" (and I think my alpha female response was also engaged by the part where the guys seemed to enjoy it) even though I'm sure she meant nothing by it. (Once I had identified my problem, I of course liked her much better!)

One-liner *hugs* comments feel less like support and more like a requirement to conform to other people's socialization. Does that make any sense?

Oh, good gosh, yes, and in fact when I give them that's exactly how I feel (like I'm conforming to other people's socialization, that is), though obviously I mean the support as well.

On the other hand, I suspect I've never given a one-liner *hug* in my life, because I can't help but amplify with at least some words (the couple of people who've met me in RL after only internet conversations have been surprised as to how much quieter and less articulate, er, rambly I am when speaking rather than writing...)

and then I figured out it was because she was always touching people

Oh my gosh, I would die in the humanities. Yay biology! I have no topical anecdotes, but I empathize with the alpha female part. It's good that you could ID what was bugging you and adjust accordingly.

(the couple of people who've met me in RL after only internet conversations have been surprised as to how much quieter and less articulate, er, rambly I am when speaking rather than writing...)

The internet has editing functions not available in realtime, alas.

I don't know if the humanities are generally like that, but they are certainly much more accepting of such behavior :)

The other thing about the interwebs is that I may write you what seems like a long and rambly comment (ahem), but divided over 24 hours it's really not that much socialization...

The No Good Horrible VERY BAD Friday

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