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Since I have progressed right through three comfort novels to a rant about footwear, fetishism, and design (core concept: since I love and respect my body and have zero erotic fantasies suitable for a BDSM dungeon, I will never wear 6" stiletto knee-high boots with buckles up the sides) to deleting most of said rant and going to a networking / talk event instead, I am now better. I am not looking forward to hustling for cash flow through on-the-side tutoring and whatever reasonable services I can churn out. (She cooks! She bakes! ...actually, a bake sale might work. I'm good at baking!)

I had the good sense to get a car and drive to the networking event, instead of messing with bus-train-walking shenanigans, which meant I got an awesome networking event and I got me-on-the-highway time too. The greater Bay area offers magnificent driving: even route 101 has the hills and San Francisco Bay opening at your feet, and driving back into the city at night is a unique and hilly joy. A perfect distraction for that horrible creeping feeling you've made a terrible mistake: your life is on the East Coast, your friends and your work and your home is there, and you know what? I realized, between the Third Street and Octavia Street exits, that I do not want to go home. I want to make a new home here.

I moved to San Francisco to make a fresh start: moving does not solve all problems, but in my case it replaced one set of stresses with a different (mostly preferable) set, and it's a daily reminder that if I don't like something, I can change it. I'm trying to be more mindful of other people (this is a really long term project), and more positive about my own life. Some things are in the past, and I can't change them. What I can change is how I look at those events, and what lessons I'm taking from them. Interviews are really great for that, because it's a chance to grab "I quit my job and moved nearly 3,000 miles on a whim" and spin that into, "I took a chance to expand my horizons." Would I have ever run or walked a 12k in DC?

This message brought to you by my opportunity to hear about other women's choices, Life in Technicolor, Magnificent, and I'm Not Dead.
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I am ridiculously proud of myself for figuring out, on my very own, that my bus route will not be affected by the special events surcharge for Bay to Breakers. Which is good, since I will be stumbling around in the predawn, trying to pretend that walking 7.5 miles is a good idea when I have a lousy sleep-stealing head cold, and I do not need further complications. I'm going to perform unspeakable acts with my nose and a bottle masquerading as a neti pot, sleep through the night (please) and rock it out tomorrow.
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Wednesday I declined a hilariously inappropriate cuddling proposition after resume critique but before noon, and after noon got bounced on a job fishing expedition with such promptness and professionalism my inbox is still smarting. (Cuddling. Phfft. If I fall into the relationship roulette, I want someone who brings the sugar to my lemon, and that was not on the table. Turning this into a hilarious bar story, however, is.) Yesterday I explored private health care vs COBRA options, turned over several boxes looking for deposit slips and novels, and brooded. Job hunting is not conducive to my peace of mind, see subject title. But I soldier on! I send out resumes and acknowledge I need to hustle when I'm spending more money than I should.

Today I woke to the first cold breaths of a San Francisco summer with a stuffy nose. Apparently I am allergic to Maryland in box form, and forgetting to breathe before lightheadedness sets in is an unfortunate possibility. Once again with the not going back. On the up side, I redeemed a discounted membership to the Asian Art Museum, so now I get in free with a guest for the next twelve months. So in case anyone wants to go? Hi! I would be delighted to have a museum buddy. Now that I've been through it once, we might even make it out before we're kicked out. (If I ever get back to NYC, I am never leaving the Met.)

Tomorrow I'm going to try to make ingredients into food, mooch freebies at the farmer's market, and pretend I'm neither feverish nor signed up for Bay to Breakers.
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I can tell I'm getting over my head cold because I have the emotional energy for despondence. Despair and angst over something other than my drippy nose and sore throat take work. Unfortunately, I do not have time for these shenanigans, since I have to go to class Tuesday, and then I am flying out Wednesday evening, and somewhere in there I have to hit the library and pack. Possibly the library will have to wait until Wednesday morning, along with the last laundry. In the plus column, I have pasta and sauce all set in the freezer, come what may, and I go on vacation in less than 48 hours. Yay?
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Friday evening I did something I should have done two days ago: I came home, and took a nap. It helped. Today I slept in crazy late, read lots of Laurie King's latest Mary Russell novel, and bribed myself into cycling by ordering takeout dumplings and soup. I am very low-key when I am sick. (The CDC tells me I probably do not have H1N1, so I don't plan to hassle my doctor to test me for it. I'm sort of sad! Even my diseases aren't dramatic.)

I think I have found my Platonic ideal of a handbag: the LeSportsac Deluxe Everyday. I passionately desire the "Kenya" zebra print, even as I wonder, "gee, isn't that kind of a sketchy name?" and scold myself for buying into the handbag racket. I'm waiting for this to go on sale for something under $55, and then I'm raiding my checking account. I feel extremely silly, but the bag should last for a year or more, and will score me girl points at work. Also, delayed gratification means I can change my mind later if I want to talk myself out of spending money.


Sep. 10th, 2009 11:47 pm
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To no one's surprise but mine, I have minimum sleep needs. When I neglect them, I get the exact same sore throat and stuffy nose every single time. I had a headache too, but no fever, and then I bought Oreos. Now my throat and nose are a little better but I have a sugar high. Whoops! I was all set to chalk the throat up to the chair I inherited from someone with cats (may pass it on: all I want in an office chair is a crazy high seat and a stiff back that won't let me slump) or my multiple neighbors who smoke when I have the windows open, but no: sleep.

In other news, Leverage continues to entertain, and I need more hobbies, but you all knew that. I am planning my San Francisco trip - my sister has scheduled some time in her favorite city, so we will hang out, yay - and I'm trying to decide what to go to and what to leave for another time. I'm probably going to apply to Bay area grad schools just for the interview weekends: I may not get off campus, except for meals, but S. F. and environs in spring? Rock on.
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Dear head,

Stop aching. Geez.

Dear throat,

Stop drying out. Also, get together with nose and do something about the oozing. And the itching middle ear problem. How do you manage that, ears?

Dear uterus,

Don't even think about it. If you contribute to my suffering during an already very unsettled week, it's kitchen hysterectomy time.

Dear weather forecast,

4"-8"? Lows under 15 F? With wind?

Be wrong.

No love,


Hit the National Museum of Women in the Arts with [ profile] foresthouse today, and to my complete lack of surprise took a nap on the way home. Tonight, having finished The Sharing Knife: Horizon, I plan to set aside Guns, Germs, and Steel long enough to start reading Jo Walton's "Small Change" trilogy in full.

I did not start the two-page paper due Wednesday evening.

I look forward to a repeat of last October, when I came home from work and took a nap four days running. And after tomorrow's nap, I will write my paper.
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The antibiotics must be doing something right, because I suddenly have enough energy to realize I'm way under budget on social interaction. I also have enough energy to contemplate being very snippy in LJ comments. Unfortunately, I do not have enough energy to remember that the last Presidential debate is tomorrow, not today.

Today's two cups of Earl Grey may also be impacting my energy levels, just a bit.

Also, dear anonymous smoking neighbor (and not in the good way): will you please take your evening cancer in a box and jump off your balcony. I hope it's a high one. Sincerely, those of us who like open windows and unpolluted air between the hours of 9 and 11 PM.

I am deeply disappointed that none of the LJ mood emoticons includes an eyeroll. Bummer.
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The doctor gave me bronchitis meds! I should not be so happy about this, but I am! If I'd known a week of hacking, phlegmy coughs netted you one-a-day azithromycin pills, I might have tried a lot harder to schedule doctor visits during college.

I also went to grocery store, restocked on tissues, gatorade and cough drops, and took a nap. Again. Taking any more time off work this week will be Really Not Good, but I am going to be completely wiped out by this whole "staying awake and dealing with other people for nine hours in a row" thing. This may be one of those weeks rotisserie chicken was designed for: buy Tuesday, eat until Friday. Other cooking optional.
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I woke up this morning with an appetite for the first time since last Monday. It's about time.

Also, if anyone has any recommendations for books covering the history of the AIDS epidemic, especially pre-1985 or pre-'86, or any good epidemiological studies on HIV, or some good summaries of what we know now about how the virus works, I'd appreciate the tip.


Oct. 10th, 2008 10:59 pm
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For the first time in my life, I have Columbus Day off.

Three day weekend, yay!

I think I'll spend it... coughing up a lung! And napping. Hopefully the worst will be over by Sunday.
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Today I emailed in sick, took several naps, and called a doctor. I watched TV and took my temperature umpteen times, making my temperature bounce a degree or so by drinking cold gatorade or hot tea. At no point was it near my norm, and sometimes I got it as high as three degrees off. Yay scorching hot tea! Eventually my landlord appeared, as did another crop of potential roommates. I snuck out to the grocery store, and grabbed takeout on the way home. If I never see canned chicken soup again it will not be too soon. Now I'm wide awake, but pretty sure I need to at least try to go to work tomorrow.

Irony points: the only new-to-me DVDs in the house are House S3. So I sniffled my way through multiple episodes of weird infections, cardiac arrest, multiple organ failure, genetic disease, and emitting blood from every orifice imaginable. Then I watched Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles (the show would get my slavish devotion if it didn't feature Summer Glau playing another crazy chick) for my weekly explosives quotient. Sadly, I tried and failed to read anything more weighty than blogs today, even the YA fantasy novel that's been kicking around my room for weeks. I guess that's why they call it sick.
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Today I went to work. I cancelled tomorrow's dental appointment - amazing how people don't want to monkey with your mouth when you have a sore throat - worked seven hours, and threw in the towel and went home early, where I wrestled with an on-and-off appetite, determined it was too hard to order delivery, took a nap, and contemplated adding pepper to lemon ginger tea to punch up the taste.

You know what? Whatever. My health is not a metaphor for the health of the nation. Tomorrow I call in and sleep in.

Mmm. Sleeeeep.

And order delivery for lunch.

[Poll #1274512]
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Someone explain to me why I shouldn't use a minor cold as an excuse to take two days off work.
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Dear lymph nodes and throat: not on.

No love, A.
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Yesterday I voted at 2:30 in the afternoon of an unseasonably warm day. I left the hoodie at home (see comments on unseasonable weather) and missed some really long lines; it took longer to make this icon than to bike to the polls and cast my ballot on one of the notorious Diebold machines. (If I voted in a swing state, I'd be expressing grave misgivings, but I don't. Actually, Maryland going Republican would probably be an excellent piece of evidence in favor of the Apocalypse hacking.) So I've secured my whining rights, which I'm planning to bank as smackdown points when people get too crazy.

Actually, I think I'm going to spend them right now.

If you're that upset about Bush's re-election, I strongly suggest volunteering your time and money for the candidates and party (or parties) of your choice. If you think there's been electoral fraud, volunteer for your local elections committees and lobby for election reform. My mother may be crazy, but she has two sayings that are very applicable here: "put your money where your mouth is," and, "lead, follow, or get out of the way."

Republicans are not evil incarnate, people. They're not necessarily stupid or blind either. Please don't ever suggest that, because my very bright and admirably self-possessed sister is one. Maybe they didn't vote for Bush. Maybe they think he's the stain on their party. "Evil" isn't these people. "Evil" is the sloppiness, corruption and extreme polarization the Republicans and Democrats are capable of. The major difference I saw between the two candidates this election is that one of them sidestepped more deviously. "Who is less blatant in their evasions" is not a good criteria for picking Presidents, in my opinion. So please don't tar every person who disagrees with your political stance with the same brush. I know a number of liberals who I want to beg to please not be on my side, and a number of conservatives who I rather like and respect. The people I am most disappointed in are the liberals who are throwing temper tantrums (like this one!) today.

Thus endeth the rant.

I don't know how I am going to deal with what I percieve to be some serious problems with the contemporary USA, but I think compassion and reaching out to the "other side" would be a start. We are all American, people. We have profound disagreements about what that means and what it means we should do, and I'm sick of seeing our strengths as a country turned inward so we can savage each other. There must be a better way than the current divisiveness and strident voices. "The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity." Think about what [ profile] hedda62 is trying to do, and look at [ profile] norabombay's reaction to the election, and think of Jim. Follow the links from [ profile] coffee_and_ink.

I think this may be the year I join the college Democrats. Or maybe the Republicans, to figure out how they think. Either way, it means I'll be attending more obnoxiously time-sucking meetings, but... civic duty. I do not want to move to Canada, the winters would kill me.

(Is a reluctance to move patriotism? I've spent a long time cultivating my jaded and blase edge, I'd hate to lose it now. Curse you, election.)

I'm getting political in frustation. The system's not working for me, at least; it's time to fix it.

In other news, I slept terribly Sunday night, and woke up Monday morning with a sore throat. Oddly, the cold has lead to me getting more sleep than usual, because my body whacks my intentions upside the head and forces me to take some down time. This has not necessarily improved my mood.


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