Life is Pain (Medical Version)

[ase]

Specimen collections I personally have had inflicted on me:

Venous puncture, including venous puncture by students
Fingerstick
Saliva
Throat swab
Urine

An off-the-cuff list of specimen collections I know about secondhand:

Lumbar puncture / bone marrow bioposy
Fine needle aspirates
Biopsies and surgical samples in general
Arterial puncture
Bronchial lavage / lower respiratory samples
Pleural fluid
Peritoneal fluid
Synovial fluid
Gastrointestinal fluid
Urine via catheterization
C. diff / GI parasite / colon cancer screening sample*
Amniocentesis
Chorionic villi
Skin punch
Nasopharyngeal swabs

*Least favorite. Let's all pause to be happy that early on I recognized that microbiology and I were not meant to be.

In conclusion:
If it comes out of the body without human intervention, you can probably get an adequate sample without pain. If it's an invasive collection and it didn't hurt at least a bit, you probably didn't get an adequate sample.

This message brought to you by recent conversations with people who did not know "the ER personnel don't stick that swab back far enough" has been a limiting factor of rapid flu testing and other upper respiratory assays since their inception.

Comments

[cahn]

Huh! I did not know that. But I also don't find it surprising :) (Mostly because although Ihaven't gotten a nose swab, I've gotten a throat swab, and those are not pleasant -- and imagining the same thing for the nose -- yeah.)

[ase]

It doesn't have to be terrible... but it does have to go back further than you might think.

[lightgetsin]

Odd timing -- I was just now thinking of the amnio I had to have almost a year ago exactly (long story). It actually did not hurt at all except for the tiniest skin pinch at first puncture. I thought it would be much worse (physically, I mean, psychologically it was fucking awful). But -- here's your warning for kind of squick -- I did freak out a bit after when the doctor carried the sample across the room and I could hear her pour it into a tube. As in, there was enough of it to make a sustained pouring sound. Several tablespoons, apparently. UUUUUUUURGH.

[ase]

Huh! Would not have thought of sound causing a gross-out reaction. That's probably because smells and textures are so consistently what gross me out. Uncapping a sample that's got a raging bacterial infection... ewwww.